So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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