We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize