but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
