A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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