WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
