I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm at about main and main street
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
