Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
