belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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