If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
She announced her abortion via fbk
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
