New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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