Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
