Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize