i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Randomize
