I'm really into asian looking animals
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
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