So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
