that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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