she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
