Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
