im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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