I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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