break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
