you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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