Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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