Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
