According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
we're so committed to being not committed
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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