she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
