So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
