she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
