Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize