I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize