I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
