Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
