ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
