we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
