I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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