Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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