i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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