So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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