U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I am mentally ready for anal.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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