What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
