Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
birth control should be required to get into college
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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