you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
