i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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