he thought i was a dude.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
