Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
