Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
