winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
