Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize