I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
