Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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