Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize