not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
