and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
