I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
