He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
