I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
