You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize