Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
