i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
