Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
