Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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