I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I am available for nakedness
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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