I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
