your room smells of hookers.
And success
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You need a sexual gate keeper
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
