i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
