Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
false alarm, still single
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