ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
