Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
