Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
