i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
