Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize