Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You're my little dorito
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
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