you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
