The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
