I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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