Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize