My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
