People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
