the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
