You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She's JV to your varsity
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
