My friends, they love my intelligence
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
