ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
