if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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