I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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