She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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