Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I forget how to act sober
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