I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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