If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Are we still banned from the library?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
